Love

The "most nourishing weekend" of last summer...  Since then I've been thinking back to the church youth conference continually, and I've had this entry in my head all along, but now that I look back and try to come up with stuff to write, I've lost so many ideas.  So before I lose any more...

Pastor Bryan came with a dozen kids from a church in Virginia.  He was uber inspirational.

"Choose the hard right, not the easy wrong."
"You can't change the world if you're just like them."

And he centered one of the sermons on this verse:

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
- 1 Timothy 4:12

Pastor Bryan went over each of the five aspects, but honestly I don't remember much at all about speech, life, faith, and purity.  In the pitiful scribbles I call notes, I have down something like:

Set examples through speech (positive), through life (watch actions), through love (selfless/unconditional), and through faith (that leads to miracles).

As that 90's song goes, "What is love?"  I think that society puts too much emphasis on the veiled identity of love.  Like... "Love can't be defined," "You will just know when love comes around," etc...  And you know, in the midst of analyzing everything that your first "lover" says you can't help but ask yourself, "He said he loves me!  What does that mean?" and "What's different now, now that we're supposedly in love?"  And I, years ago, felt the need to define it as well.  And I said that love is a mutual absolute trust, and I left it at that for a while.

You know what, though?  It's really not that complicated.  Now (or more like "after that conference"), I have a new take on it.  It's so simple if you just separate lust and love.  The way I love my dad is exactly the same as the way I love my girl friends and the way I love a romantic interest (at some point in time).  There is just one love.  There's no family love, friendly love, and romantic love.  "Romantic love" = love + lust (or, to put aside the negative connotation of lust, physical attraction).  As sad as it is, you can have physical attraction toward anyone of the gender of your preference.  And if you've had experience with someone, it's just more comfortable to repeat with the same person.  And then, if you've had too much with the same person, like for over a decade, you're bored.  It's sorta like eating food.  Hence there is nothing special about physical attraction.  (Disclaimer:  Of course I'm not speaking all from experience.  But if you disagree... well... sorry.  This is a highly personal take that is of course subject to change.)  Not even close to how special love is:

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7, a passage that everyone's probably heard.  I used to think that you can't love alone.  But you can.  I used to think it's a big deal to tell a guy you loved him.  But it's not.  Not in the way that you think, anyway.  The thing is, he will think it is.  So you will have to clarify what you mean, but then you may sound like you're just making excuses to prevent awkwardness... at which point it is already awkward.  There is only one type of love:  what Jesus has for us.  And the love that humans have for each other... is (or should be) an attempt at emulating His perfect love.  So... when I say I love you, I mean that I try to be as close as possible to the description in the above passage to you.

"Don't forget I love ya" - Vera