Let me tell you about pterosaur poop!

My senior thesis project is consuming my post-grad-school-admissions life, and I do not mind!  In fact, I'd rather be working on this research than anything else related to school this semester.  It's just frustrating because I wish I had more time to delve into all my questions, master the geochemistry, etc., but how often do we not wish we had more time?  I have to remember that my goal is to write a thesis and graduate so I can move onto bigger and better things and address even more interesting questions.  The thing is, I honestly didn't expect this question to become so interesting to me.  What is this indoctrination of insatiable curiosity for such random and obscure things?  I guess that's academia... and science.

Anyway, I started writing this because my UGA CURO Symposium talk is tomorrow, and I am updating a talk for the second time.  I haven't even started writing my thesis (!!!!!!!!!!!), and I am already giving a talk on this project for the third time.  By the end of May, I will have orally disseminated information about the Venezuelan island of Gran Roque (where I now am determined to visit one day) and the hypothetical pterosaur poop there at these occasions:

1. UGA Geology Club Brown Bag Talk
2. Oregon State University Open House for prospectives
3. UGA CURO Symposium
4. GSA Cordilleran Section Meeting in Fresno, CA

And in the next several months, I will have disseminated the same info in writing through:

1. My senior thesis
2. A paper (hopefully!!)

That is six outlets total, big and small, poster/oral presentation and papers, for this thing that I thought I might get to present a poster on at the Southeastern GSA Meeting.  Hard work?  Yes.  Am I going to be sleeping much in the next two months?  No.  Awesome?  Yes.  Exciting?  Yes.

The more I learn about my project, the more I learn how much I have yet to learn... and despite feeling inexperienced, stupid, rushed, and inadequate much of the time, I am enjoying this so far.

Also, I'm realizing just how truly nerdy I am becoming, and it blows my mind that, should I choose to continue in academia, I won't stop getting more and more nerdy until I retire.  I think my professors are nerdy, of course, but I can't even begin to fathom how nerdy they really are!!!  Is such level of nerdiness even healthy??  Scientists are crazy!  Every real scientist has to be a mad scientist...

Anywhere But Here

I have a make-up midterm tomorrow.  A real legit one.  In a hard class.  Worth 20% of my grade.

But my mind is on graduation, Tennessee, Minnesota, Colorado, Oregon.  On what to put on my office walls.  On what kind of furniture I want in my next year's dwelling.  On what I will spend my summer paychecks on.  On what kind of groceries I will be able to afford next year.  On potential advisors.  What will keep me warm in Minneapolis this week.  My future Tumblr account.

All this traveling has been mentally and physically exhausting enough without make-up work.  I'm ready for spring break.

I've always been mildly in favor of memorization, mostly because I'm pretty good at cramming info into my brain.  But not tonight.  I am not interested in memorizing details about different types of copper deposits...

Or am I...?

No Weekends

Things are just toppling down off my plate!

Last night (a Friday), I stayed up til 3am writing my first real abstract of my own ever.  I'll be submitting it to both the CURO Symposium in April and the Geological Society of America Cordilleran Section Meeting in May.  I still didn't finish, and I was supposed to email it to my advisor last night!  That aside, I am going to school today (a Saturday) for an extra-credit PE class, again after dinner tonight to work on my economic geology lab, and tomorrow afternoon (a Sunday) for a meeting with my advisor and more economic geology lab.  Not to mention a phone call with a professor at Kansas this afternoon.  I have not been able to unwind at all.  It's Saturday and I feel like it's Tuesday... and last night I felt like it was a Monday.

Weeks have been going by faster than ever.  They are just disappearing in front of my eyes.  Every time I actually get to think about what day it is, it's already another Friday (haha, so it could be worse).  "Oh wow, I feel like last Friday was yesterday."  And that has happened for the last several weeks.

Okay, I have to go to school now.  Peace.

Admissions! / Microscopy Woes

Unlike on Facebook, I won't feel guilty of boasting if I post this stuff here.  Well, I guess it is technically boasting, too, but so few people read this blog -- and they do it voluntarily, I think -- that I think of it as just sharing the exciting things in my life like any other time I write on here.

Okay, so I just wrote some stuff about where I've been accepted to, but suddenly the slim possibility of people related to these schools somehow reaching my blog and reading my frank thoughts about each school dawned upon me, and I shouldn't risk that.  Darn!

Well, I'll say I am going to grad school next fall and leave it at that!  Okay, and that I am visiting Minnesota in March.  Very thankful for this.

I think it's also safe to say that, while I haven't been accepted to Oregon State, I have high hopes that I will be.

I am learning that grad school applications didn't end when I sent in all my stuff and money.  Most schools are on tight budgets, and they are very careful about whom they decide to offer admission to.  I have had lengthy phone calls and many email exchanges with prospective advisors at two schools since they reviewed my file, and neither have a definite answer for me yet.  Those interactions were just as important and nerve-wracking as the actual applications.  One has sent me a paper and former students' contacts.  I am excited to read the paper and hear the deal-io about working with him, but it's like... "Man, I thought I was done with this!" "Let me do some homework now!"... kind of, haha.  Ah, rarely is life so simple.

Yes, it is much better to be not done and potentially be in a have-to-make-decisions position than have five rejection letters (or emails -- I feel like nobody mails things anymore) in my hand and be done that way.  I do feel very fortunate, and I would be excited to go to any school I applied to.  Some more than others, of course.

Overall this is a very exciting (word of the day, y'all) time for me, and I really don't know whom to thank other than a supreme being who is in control of all that happens.  Thank you God, for giving me a direction for my path, paving that path, and giving me a light so I can walk on it.  Happily.

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I did not anticipate economic geology to take such a toll on my body.  Economic geology is also known as "ore deposits class."  We look at polished slivers of rocks from all kinds of mines under a ginormous microscope that I can barely lift out of the cabinet.  For a three-hour lab period.  Except I came in an hour early and made it four hours today.  And I came in Sunday night and spent three hours... examining three rock samples!

First, the eyes.  The different light switches in the microscope keep making me blind myself accidentally.  A rock microscope has a circular stage you rotate, which means you are constantly staring down into something either way too bright or too dim -- depending on your polarizer setting -- that is spinning. So, after blinding myself four times with sudden floods of light and watching spinning crystals intently for hours, the words in my textbook looked hazy for a few moments.  Second, I am convinced this terrible crick in my neck is from craning it to look into this really tall microscope... despite that I had been sitting on a 980-page book on my chair.  Also I've been sleep deprived, but that may or may not be because of this class.  I love geology, I promise... just not microscopes...

A view through the scope... This is the kind of rock we get our copper and nickel from.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

After hearing about the book for years, I saw The Perks of Being a Wallflower today.

First, it made me think so fondly back to high school -- something I haven't felt in a while.  The teenage spirit, fresh youth, outlandish adventures...

Second, it hit home.  Friends said the end was sad, that the movie was good but dark.  I thought it was the best resolution ever.  I wish... I could be Charlie.


Well, here's to swinging off a rope off a tree into a green pool.  To walking miles on end into the night.  To night drives through Atlanta with The Killers blasting.  To sweaty school dances.  To violating park hours for night strolls and stargazing.

Ah, and soon I will miss college, too... The college version of moments of "feeling infinite."


Less missing and more savoring!

Happy birthday, Na Hyung.  Aging is a privilege.

I often can't believe that a career in geology exists.  How is it possible for something this fun to be lucrative?

So many blessings... Friends, family, learning community, nature, excitement for the future, active channeling of my passion... Heaven forbid I complain about anything in my life!

Musings in Myers

This morning, I refused to take the bus to school.  Instead, I slept that extra hour and drove to the Tate deck.  As a consequence I just rode the bus back to campus, so I can drive back home after 11:00 PM without paying for parking.

On the bus, thinking of where in the SLC I would situate myself and read new class syllabi, I saw Myers Hall outside and felt compelled to get off.  I felt like I owed this building a visit as a last-semester senior.

Well, it smells exactly the same as it did three years ago.  This smell of... woody cleanliness.  Everything looks so unchanged that I feel like I could walk up the ramp, scan my hand, and the door would still swing open for me.  Although I can only reminisce in the first floor common areas, this is enough for reflection.

In this building, Students of AMF started.  Our card-making, support group meetings, officer meetings. We met here for my very first InterVarsity small groups with the fifth-year senior Elizabeth (who I thought was so old).  For almost a year, I called this place home.  I would run into this building on a rainy day, shake off my umbrella, and end a long day of classes.  I would walk into the lobby from my end of the hall and meet up with my lover, coming from his end, so that we could set out for a run around campus or a concert at the Performing Arts Center.

Contrary to what many seniors told me when I was a freshman, I do not want to be a freshman again -- I don't want to have to re-learn about myself, I don't want to take freshman classes again, and I definitely don't want to be broke for an extra four years.  But I do dearly miss the memories from Myers.  In fact, I'm going to dearly miss college.  This is something I doubted for a while that I would ever say.  In freshman year, I felt like everybody else was having a funner college experience, making more friends, and finding their places better than I was.  But I found my own fun, friends, and "place" at just the right times and have had an amazing experience as an undergrad.  Oh my gosh, how wonderful college has been.  Of course, all good things must come to an end.  And the end is near.  I can't yet think of a brilliantly different way to spend this last semester.  I guess take time to savor each moment, not get too caught up in the little things to see the bigger picture, and take it easy and put high priority on loving my friends (= other students, professors, bosses...) here.

We should not dwell on the past, they say.  But I find happiness and inspiration for the future through occasional nostalgia.  Hello, Spring 2013.

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Excited for this semester's classes, too.  It's fun to walk into a class and learn about concepts you never knew existed, but it's even more exciting and satisfying to glance through a syllabus and think, "Oh my gosh I've been dying to learn about all of these!"  One of the perks of being far along in your major, I guess...

Might I Quote Thee?

It's cool how philosophers think, but most of the time, it's the doers who do the work. And of course you thought a lot after your mom's loss. And you probably still do. Once college comes (or right now, just in the summer), it'll be a good time for doing, doing the doing or doing more of the doing you did or didn't get to do in high school. Even social stuff is a kind of must-do scheduled-kind-of doing for me, just like homework is. But I never am tired because I immerse myself in what I do. I find passion through them so it doesn't feel like I'm actually doing something laborous. Doing work/learning and chatting with people are both fun.

Friend who will, by choice, never see this, thank you for your non-expiring pep talks and lasting inspiration.  And for re-shaping my life for good before disappearing into a fog that I can't penetrate.

Well, here's to immersing ourselves in what we do.  Here's to finding passion through what we do instead of feeling like we're doing something laborious.

What a Year

My 2012, if not the end of the world, was an epic year.  I changed in so many ways that it might be easier to enumerate the ways I stayed the same.  But since tonight I am celebrating the submission of my first grad school app, I'm giving myself time to do both.

2009 was another year that I thought was epic.  Mom's illness and passing, high school graduation, new outlook on discipline and my purpose in the world, leaving home for college.  It's only been three years since then; so maybe epic years aren't as rare as I think.  In fact, with college graduation just over the horizon, 2013 very well may be more epic than 2012.  Nevertheless, here I go.

I am just like my 2009-2011 self in many ways.  I try to put people relationships above all else.  I consider myself an optimist.  I love to write about my thoughts.  I love to cook.  I find lame jokes hilarious.  I love school, especially when I am on break like now.  I think much about science and religion.  I believe there is a God.  Music is a large part of my life.  I have high expectations and lofty goals.

But I'm better at using and understanding sarcasm.  I like bluegrass, when the sound of mandolins and banjos used to nauseate me.  I am madly in love with the American West.  I think cities are overrated, although I've been a city girl all my life.  I like a juicy hunk of steak.  I savor going to the bathroom in the woods as a bonding experience between me and nature.  I no longer attend church, although that's not to say I will never go again.  I dance again.  I have new standards for stargazing and hiking.  I am more liberal when it comes to dating.  I'm a much better geologist, albeit still a novice.  I care less about looks but more about fitness.

All because of getting over a past relationship, turning twenty-one, the rise and fall of another relationship, interacting with many people in different ways, spending seven weeks out West, and joining the geology social circle.  And, the most first-time experiences in one year by far (out of the years I can remember, anyway) -- I could literally name dozens.

This time last year, musing about how fast 2011 was and how 2012 will be just another blink of an eye, all I hoped for was that it would be a good blink of an eye.  Filled with adventure in every sense, successes to meet the challenges, getting to know personalities new to me, new sights and tastes, natural wonder, loving family and friends, and a new perspective on the world, it was a magical blink.

And my heart still says...  Thank God.

Sobriety

I will consume not a single sip of alcohol until every one of my grad school applications are in.  This is not just to motivate me to write my apps.  It is mainly because I do not want any more meaningless drinks followed by troubled nights.

Not for Christmas, not for New Year's (!).  I'm excited.

Pop Quiz!

• What are your career goals?
• What do you want to research and why?  Who are you gonna work with for that?
• What makes you prepared for this graduate program?
• Why do you want to go to grad school anyway?
• What are your immediate academic goals?
• Do you have any special skills?
• While you're at it, please inject personality into your answers so that they don't sound like everybody else's.

Ready, set, go!

BLAH...  Here you go.  =)

Oh, if only I could just barf it out like so.

2012

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?
   -> Where do I start?! I could fill a whole page, but...  Drink at bars, map geologic units, climb a fourteener, see the Milky Way, drive three days to get somewhere, run 4 miles nonstop, play in a jazz ensemble, work 12-hour lab shifts
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
   -> I don't think I made them.  Next year, I plan to do a 365 days of happy surprises calendar again.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
   -> No
4. Did anyone close to you die?
   -> No
5. What countries did you visit?
   -> None
6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
   -> College degree, a residence with 1 roommate max
7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
   -> May 17, the day left Athens for field school.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   -> Winning an excessive number of scholarships, surviving field school
9. What was your biggest failure?
   -> Attempts to pay attention during hydrogeology lecture
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    -> I damaged my feet and could not run for a month and a half after field school.  Also, I still have half a sheath of cactus needle embedded in my ankle.  Massive scars on my wrist and calf from a fall.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
    -> My sleeping bag!  Also $5 North Face field shorts at a Goodwill.  And lunch at La Indita, a Mexican restaurant in Tucson, Arizona.
12. Where did most of your money go?
    -> Apartment rent, field school, graduate school applications
13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    -> Arizona trip for research, going to Arches National Park at field school, and I'm already really, really, really excited about living in Denver next summer for an internship.
14. What songs will always remind you of 2012?
    -> "Fuck You" by Cee Lo Green, Nickel Creek songs, "Call Me Maybe"
15. Compared to this time last year, are you:
    i. happier or sadder? happier
    ii. thinner or fatter? about the same
    iii. richer or poorer? richer
16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
    -> practicing violin, spending time with brother
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
    -> Complaining?  Feeling smug?  Looking for distractions?
18. How will you be spending Christmas?
    -> Not sure.  Hopefully everybody in the family eating together.
19. Did you fall in love in 2012?
    -> Once with a person, then another time with the West
20. What was your favorite TV program?
    -> Everest: Beyond the Limit
21. What was the best book you read?
    -> I started reading Jurassic Park and was impressed.  Right now I'm reading Finding God at Harvard and I like it so far.
22. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    -> Learning to improvise jazz
23. What did you want and get?
    -> Money, internship, travel, adventure
24. What was your favorite film of this year?
    -> Uhh... I only saw a few... Sherlock Holmes was entertaining...
25. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    -> Went to Cutters Pub with geology folks after a Geology Club meeting, where people bought me a Yuengling and a whiskey sour while we played pool and darts.  Then Kyle picked me up and gave me some very sweet gifts.  I turned 21.
26. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    -> Nothing.
27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
    -> Fieldsy.
28. What kept you sane?
    -> Good old girlfriends!  The Rocky Mountains!
29. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    -> Uhh
30. What political issue stirred you the most?
    -> The humor in how badly Romney was failing during election season
31. Who did you miss?
    -> Friends back home during field school, Logan, Phoeny
32. Who was the best new person you met?
    -> Hm... this year I feel like I really got to know a lot of people I had superficially known for a while, and a lot of those people are great.
33. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:
    -> Life is too short to spend indoors. / Squat downslope when peeing, and aim away from rocks. / All the splendor of nature cannot replace the love from friends and family. 
34. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
    -> "Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow, 'till you find your dream"

"Crazy College Night"

So here it is, finally, my first all-nighter of the semester, it would seem.  Impressed that it took me all the way until the last night of finals week.  I'm realizing that all nighters can't happen when you merely know you've got a lot to do.  They only happen when you're genuinely stressed out.  When so much stuff is commanding your attention that you can't possibly relax and fall asleep:

• Hydrogeology cumulative final tomorrow at noon, worth 45% of total grade -- I've only begun to study for it this evening
• Half-done take-home tectonics test due tomorrow afternoon
• Graduate school applications
• Not sure if my transcript order will go through this month, don't know what to do if it won't.  Have to check on that tomorrow morning.
• Not sure how I will be able to afford all these applications, but I just added another school to the list (which is final now, by the way. DONE LOOKING).
• Gotta call University of Nevada, Reno, tomorrow morning before I leave for the final and get app materials straight.
• I've suddenly got only two weeks to write and submit my applications.  Need to get the letter-writing material to professors tomorrow, possibly.
• Seriously serious university drama situation I've gotten myself into.  That is all I'm going to say.

Hahaha I feel like I'm in high school again!  Except with serious-er stuff on mind.

Oh man...  I can't wait until Thursday.

A Tribute to Honors Projects

Darn Honors Option projects!!!!!!!!  Each one of them have been such a pain in the butt.  I mean, how much does graduating with Honors mean anyway?  They have been responsible for all of my college all-nighters, shortened winter breaks, late start of summers, general intense stress, etc., and this semester is no different.  This time, I am about to go to school to wrestle with computer programs I have never laid my eyes upon until the wee hours of the morning.  But the most frustrating thing is that this semester, it has been cutting into time I could be using for grad school applications.  I am over classes!!!  I need to apply to schools!!!  Darn Honors projects!!!

Okay, granted, I usually feel very grateful for these projects.  They are how I got close with all of my best faculty mentors.  And how I got really interested in geology.  And how I learned the most interesting things.  

But still!!!

Fine, it's actually all because of my poor prioritization this semester.  I have no one to blame but myself.  It's the last full week of classes this semester -- I'll sleep when I'm dead.  Or when finals are over.  All with the faith that everything will be worth it in the end.  That whatever's supposed to happen will happen.  That I just need to focus.  

Did somebody say "break"?

This hydrogeology lab is taking an unacceptable amount of time...

The Pre-Thanksgiving Crunch

Inevitable every year since ninth grade has been the pre-Thanksgiving-break crunch.  This year I've got summer plans and grad schools to worry about on top of schoolwork -- much more long-term than previous years!  As important and complicated as these things are, I don't dread doing them nearly as much as physics homework, which is what I have been bogged down with in the past few years.

Well, that's really all I've got to say about it.  Got lots on my mind and got lots to do.

A Record Mess

My room has never been this messy.  Ever.  Not even in high school.  That is an incredible feat.

The mess in my room so remarkable that a photo is probably blog-worthy, but it would be too embarrassing to put up.

You know the pile of clothes you end up with after trying on multiple outfits?  Yeah, I've got one of those on my unmade bed, aside a pile of unfurled giant nerdy posters I got from the Geological Society of America conference.  My decorative table has all of my toiletries and cosmetic stuff laid out, half-unpacked from GSA.  My floor has a cardboard box of winter clothes half-unpacked, a paper grocery bag full of shoes from GSA, two more shopping bags full of free swag I got at GSA, a giant duffel full of clothes half-unpacked, violin case, backpack, two purses, shoes, magazines, books, and clothes.  The desk chair I am currently sitting on has three articles of clothing on it, as far as I can tell, and my -groan- desk has all sorts of papers, notebooks, and books, rubber bands, my dinner bowl, nail clipper, etc. sprawled out.

Why am I writing about this instead of cleaning it up?  Because I like recording things.  And because I promised myself I can't procrastinate by cleaning until I make a certain amount of progress on graduate school apps.  Isn't this fun.

Oh man.........

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On the other hand, I really like bossa nova.  It's kind of cheesy but so attractive!

Love this old-school video:

Hodgepodge Month in a Hodgepodge Retrospect

What wouldn't I do for a peaceful weekend where I can sit and watch a movie...

It's already the end of October.  Where did October go?  To Arizona, to many beers, to much confusion about future and people, to campfires.  To the desert, forests, mountaintops, caves.  To hurried grad school research and cramming for midterms.  What a hodgepodge of a month.

Maybe I should change my attitude from "must apply to as many schools as reasonably possible, must get into somewhere and start grad school next fall" to "eh, I'll apply to 2 or 3 I really like, and if I don't get into any, I'll just look for a job for a gap year."  The only problem is, if I don't secure a job early, either, I can't get permission to stay in the US for a gap year.  I guess in that case, I'll just spend a year in Korea and apply for US grad schools from there.  So either attitude is cumbersome...  Well, I've already started investing a lot of time into looking at grad programs, so I'll just keep chugging along the best I can.  It's just stressful with GSA beginning this weekend; I feel pressured to prepare to meet everyone who might could be a potential advisor.

Feeling this lack of free time, always feeling obligated to do something related to school, and finding myself longing for off hours sometimes make me wonder if I really want to be in school (either as student or faculty) forever.  But, we always long for what we don't have, right?  (Why is that?  That's kind of cruel.)  And I wonder if I will get the same satisfaction with a 9-5 job.  Guess it would depend on what it is...  Okay, enough far-future thinking, back to the present.

It got really cold all of a sudden over the weekend.  To think that, in the beginning of the month, I was enjoying(?) 97-degree afternoons in Tucson.  Now it's in the 30s at night in Athens.

I've been going out a bit too much this semester.  Not sure when exactly it started or if I should be concerned...  I would like a peaceful weekend to figure this stuff out, also.

Well, here's to a late night of productivity (please!!) so I can celebrate a college Halloween properly for the first and last time tomorrow.

I now know what "mind-numbing" means

Studying geology does give me such special experiences.

Today, I sat in a lab for twelve hours straight (save for bathroom breaks and a 20-minute lunch break) and shot a total of ~400 zircon crystals with laser.  Zoom, pan, aim, focus, fire, record, repeat.  "Shoot laser beams"... ha!  You mean clicking my mouse..........................................

I am jet lagged and incredibly sleepy, my head is sleepy.  I mean spinning.

I really didn't think I would say this, but I wish I were back in Athens.  Tomorrow, I get up at 7, get to the lab by 8, and repeat.  And then Wednesday, repeat.  Thursday, repeat.  Friday, repeat.  Not that what we do in the lab is miserable, but it really isn't that stimulating.

I enjoy tedious things when they don't require much focus and I can go at a leisurely pace and use it as an excuse to listen to some good music.  But this takes concentration and speed and judgments really fast for a really long period of time this is really wearing out my brain not to mention the jet lag.  Good night.

Oh yeah Tucson has some really good food, I'll tell you that.  I haven't had a single meal that wasn't delicious.  First day (yesterday), had the best wrap ever that had quinoa, feta, edamame hummus, among other wonderful wonderful veggies.  And had the best Mexican food I've ever had, I'll go into more detail about that sometime, maybe.  The kind of deliciousness that makes you glaze over and smile as you chew.  And today had some really good these uh... sonora hotdog.  Yummy.

Good night for real.

Enough Productivity for the Day

What a day.  Got four hours of sleep, took a big midterm, came home around 4:00, then in a strange sleep-deprived burst of focus and motivation, I finished and submitted an internship application I have been "working on" for three months.  On top of that, after a satisfying evening nap, I began to continue my graduate-program searching journey.  But of course that would be too good -- I soon stumbled into the magnetic field of Facebook and found myself going through field school pictures, reminiscing those mountain hikes.  And thinking about how EXCITING (!!!!!!!!!!!) it is that I will be leaving for Arizona on Sunday!!!  To be honest, I don't know what the heck is in Tucson.  Cactus, I imagine -- my excitement just momentarily shriveled -- and sand, and dust?  Plus, I will be indoors almost all of the time.  But the thought of just going back out West does it for me.  If it's out there, it's gotta be cool.  Thinking about merely breathing in some dry air is literally making my palms sweat with excitement.

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Last night, as I was looking over the definition of "precipitation" in my Surficial Processes notes, I was reminded of a little picture book I really loved as a kid.  My hazy memory says it was titled 무지개는 왜 생길까요? or Why Do Rainbows Form?  And it had a tiger explaining various elements of precipitation, including snowflakes, raindrops, and rainbows.  It was from that book I learned that when water vapor condenses and gets heavy, it falls to the ground as rain.  And here I was in college, learning the same concept.  But building on that to learn so much more about precipitation... how to measure it, how it travels through the ground, how it affects weathering of the Earth, how that is related to tectonics.  Now, I have grown up and come so far in education as to help produce new knowledge about nature as a scientist.  When I reached that thought, the sudden recall of the memory of that book became so precious.  I wanted to find it on Amazon (from the illustrations, I could tell even as a child that it was a foreign book) or Google Images and post a picture of it on here.  But I couldn't find it.  I wanted to ask someone who may know the exact title.  I wanted to talk to someone and confirm that this book wasn't a figment of my imagination.  I wanted to call and thank the person who got me that book.  I wanted to call the person who got me all these great science picture books and encyclopedias and encouraged me to learn as much as I can, because I grew up in a family that could afford it, unlike hers.  I wanted to let her in on all the exciting research I am learning about and talk to her about how hard it is to believe that I am already finishing up college.  I want to reminisce with her about the day that she dressed me and patted my head, saying, "You're now already a third grader."

This is where it becomes extremely difficult to not believe in an afterlife.  How to deal with this?  (I need to go to an AMF meeting.)

This... this is what happens whenever I decide I am not obligated to work for the rest of the night that I am home and awake alone.  There.  Possibly one of my most stream-of-consciousness ramble of a post to date.