Sweet Sixteen

Sophomore year was the sweetest.  It really was.  As I posted, wow, more than two years ago...

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I miss sophomore year dearly. Back when I felt so old and cool after turning sixteen, back when I was oblivious, back when it was blissful, back when I had the same hopes as others, back when everything was so innocent, back when I had perfect grades, back when I basked in sunlight. When my hands smelled of White Tea Ginger and my hair like the orange Herbal Essences and my .. okay, I'll stop.. I'll freak people out. When I wrote in the shell-patterned diary. Back when I had no dead flowers on my shelf and back when I had the ugly blue cell phone. When I had no choice but to be stuck at Caribou all day doing homework, listening to hip-hop on my 1GB mp3 player. When for the first time the songs on the radio made sense. When the snow-white flowers on Providence Road were the most beautiful thing in the world...

Try as I might, I don't think senior year will beat my tenth grade.

I'm kind of sick of my nostalgia.

First paragraph = still exactly how I feel.

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"I don't know.  I doubt I'll make it..."
"You can do it, if you just focus."

(Mr. Su... Wow, I wish he knew what an influence he's had on my life.  I should really do something for him and Mrs. Su...)

You can do it if you just focus....  How many different people, how many different times, have told me that?  Focus.  Focus.  Focus..... Focus.  What is my focus...

This.... balancing friends and schoolwork has never been an issue with me.  Ever.  It came naturally, I guess.  I never even thought about it.  Family?  Yes, I really did neglect my family for the most of high school.  I had lots of trouble balancing family and friends, and I honestly (and sadly) don't think I worried much about it.  The only reason I was aware of the problem was because my mom was always upset about it.  Anyway, friends and school.  Never been an issue, took it for granted.  Never felt lacking of friends, never felt I was socializing too much... Here in college, it makes up too much of my concern.  Another thing I'm anal about now is sleep....  That, since the summer.  Maybe if I forgo my sleep-hour analness I'll be less concerned with the friends/school problem.  But I like my new hours of sleep.

I don't know.  I don't know.  I'm gonna study for my first physics test...

Haha, focus.  Iroooniicccc.