Can't Believe It

It all started with a Word document attachment from somebody I don't talk to anymore.  A Hotmail message received in 2005.

I successfully dug it up.  "Man, this person did actually care for me back then.  I'm definitely using this... somewhat guiltily."

I started browsing through the other messages, these random middle/high school threads...  Then I realized how much my Hotmail account actually held: my entire high school career!  Then I remembered the less-read correspondence at the brink of graduation with somebody else I don't talk to anymore, and started reading those.

Isn't it terrible to not talk to somebody anymore?  It's like you are dead to each other, except you both are alive.  All that's left is letters, cards, emails, pictures....  You can't ever get it back; you can't ever go talk to them and expect them to talk back to you.

I hope I never make this happen again.  But just like with that friend I stopped talking to in fourth grade, the effects fade away eventually, I guess.  Still, how I vowed to myself that friendships shall not be broken again.  But they do, human relationships do sometimes, and it's bound to happen in the future between me and someone else I care deeply about.  By then, the effects of losing the above two high school friends will have faded, and I will be able to take on a new break.

But I thought those effects had already faded by now, darn it!  Can't believe it... these people are just too influential, and I won't ever be able to deny that.

I'm gonna try my hardest not to let friendships break.  They can fade, of course, everything does with time, but in that case you can revive that connection with a phone call or even a Facebook message.  Broken ones seem to take miracles, which have not come my way yet.