Commit to Quit Committing

As someone who committed to nothing but orchestra and AP classes in high school, college was just too cool.  After graduation, I resolved to seek out and commit to everything I am passionate about.  If I have ever kept any promise with myself, it's that one.

I have committed to everything I am passionate about, except for orchestra (surprising, sad, and strange).  I could not believe the number of opportunities I was being given to make the campus and community a better place.  I took them all.  Heck, like that's not enough, I made up something to be passionate about on campus (Students of AMF).  Then I had to throw on a job on top of it all.  When I realized the slowly debilitating weight of it all, I started to put some down.  No more hospice volunteering.  Cut work hours in half.  Drop a class (unheard of)!

I thought I was starting to do okay.  A bulk of stressful applications done, easing into a good routine, adequately relaxing on weekends...

Then today, I signed myself up to audit a 3-hour class.  Then I found out I was not pulling together AMF enough.  I'm not feelin' good.  Why add more to my plate when I can't digest what's already there and good?

When I come across an opportunity, I just can't seem to say no.  I'm similar to a party-and-freedom-deprived Asian girl gone wild in college.  I was so deprived of extracurricular activities (other than pure socialization) in high school that I (subconsciously) feel the need to devour it all in college to make up for it.  And there is no one and nothing to stop me before I start failing classes and botching up all of my commitments completely.

I have to stop it.  I'm the only one who can.

God, God.  Why does he only pop up at the end of my thoughts?  So often not until the aftermath of my decisions?  Please grace me with the wisdom to pick out what I cannot do without and the courage to whack away what I like.  Remind me, at a threshold to another commitment, that taking on yet another "great opportunity" will diminish my capability to commit to my other great opportunities.  Amen.

I used to believe that human capabilities were limitless through God.  No, God is limitless through us and  everything else.  "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength"... means I can do everything He wants me to do through Him.

Thank You for this realization.