How Embarrassingly Mind-Blowing,

I'm not special.

Logically, I already knew that, but what a liberating thing that is to really take to heart!

It frees me from the sense of obligation to live up to others' expectations or to become as special/important as possible to the world.

... Which is why McCullough also talked about the importance of pursuing passions for the sake of passions, rather than seeking accolades or striking off items from an arbitrary checklist. Accolades and lists may tell us about accomplishments, but life is meant to be experienced, not just accomplished....

Just two nights ago I was pulling out my hair, trying to figure out how to apply to and get into the perfect graduate school.  The main problem being that I wasn't sure what I wanted to research.  I will be researching Caribbean plate tectonics for my senior thesis this year, but is that what I want to do for my Master's?  Even if I preferred something else, wouldn't it make more sense to apply in that direction since I will be experienced and more qualified?  Didn't [Dr.] Doug [Crowe] tell me that paleoclimate is too saturated with researchers right now?  What about this mining internship that I may have a shot at for next summer?

Nothing else matters.  It doesn't matter if I don't enroll in the most prestigious graduate program I can get into, if I don't become super prominent and successful, if I don't garner as many awards and grants as possible -- I just have to do what I want to do, because it will be foolish to spend my life doing what other people want me to do, when I'm never going to be that special or the best or any other worldly status anyway (and nor should I care to).  With that said, I want to do something that involves geology's direct impact on humans, e.g., earthquake prediction, climate change, alternative energy resources... and, of course, write about my take on faith.

The plate tectonics thesis will stimulate me intellectually and make me a better researcher, but it is not exactly what I want to continue to pursue afterwards.  I don't think so for now, at least.  And that's okay.  Ah, yes!