Ha Ha Ha

I don't remember the last time I had a belly-aching laugh.  This is so sad.  I miss hilarity.  All through high school I was blessed with so many things to laugh about and people to laugh with.  I didn't take them for granted, but I didn't know exactly how good it was.  I was surrounded by people who could crack me up anytime.  All the while, I thought I was just easily amused.  But I don't think it was me all along; it was my friends.  If I really were that easily amused, it wouldn't matter where I am or whom I'm with, but apparently, it does matter.  Oh my ridiculous friends, I miss you.  I'm envious of whomever you are entertaining at your schools.

Thought I was about done settling in, but guess I'm not.

Another thing...  It's interesting what sort of impression some people have of me here.  I find it funny, slightly surprising, and slightly annoying at the same time.  Can I say this without sounding like some Britney Spears wannabe?  These people think I'm innocent.  In an extremely sheltered, almost ignorant way, I feel like.  No, they don't think.  They just assume.  From what?  Good question.  Maybe because I always seem to be away at some Christian fellowship or Bible study whenever they visit my roommate?  Because I always seem to be studying or doing some other nerdy thing whenever I am in?  Because I go home frequently?  Because I don't get high or drunk?  Because what?  Whatever their reason, these people talk of things I shouldn't do / look at to "preserve my innocence."  And they mean it.  They like to say stuff like, "Ooh, Stacey, didn't know you were like that" jokingly when I haven't done/said anything provocative...   I don't know.  This happened to me again today by the same people, and what was I supposed to say?  "Wow, I'm really not as 'innocent' as you think.  Let me tell you how dirty I am"?  No.  So I just smile and go back to what I have been doing.  

I know I shouldn't care about what people think.  I try not to.  And I'm glad in one way that I have changed (Disclaimer:  I'm in no way saying that I was this "bad" girl in high school, because I wasn't, just that I was slightly different from how I am now) because I do believe that I am changing for the better.  But it's just uncool when people judge what you like and dislike, know and don't know, or have done and haven't done.

I'm slowly getting there.  Meanwhile, focus.

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
- from "In Christ Alone" by somebody... good song.