Too Many

(This post will sound even more narcissistic than usual.)

Self-review:

On a scale of 1 to 5, how am I doing as a...

1. student-athlete tutor?  2.5 --- But I'm doing the best I can tutoring courses that I've never taken in college before... give me a break.
2. Geology Club officer?  1 --- Terrible, terrible.  Doing the bare minimum.  If I were somebody else, I wouldn't want me to be an officer again.  Sad thing is, I have so many things I want to do for this club.
3. InterVarsity leader?  2 --- For the amount of time I spend for various IV meetings, I feel like I'm doing awfully little.  Barely gettin' by, barely gettin' by, always struggling to fulfill the least of what is asked.  Constantly falling short of my expectations.
4. Students of AMF president?  4 --- I feel good about this so far.  I've been learning so much, meeting great people, and this sounds super corny, but my dreams have been becoming reality.  If this continues on its track, I know it will become wonderful.  However, there is still so much that needs to be done to get this ship going at full speed (we just started churning the engine... yes, I'm thinking Titanic), and what's being done is going very slowly.  So... 4.
5. hospice volunteer?  0 --- Unfortunately, I quit a few weeks ago.
6. student?  3 --- On average I'm an all right geology student but my steadily declining efforts in Chinese makes it a 3.  Also, I haven't done homework for the past month.
7. daughter?  no comment... --- Do I even give this matter any thought?  Ever?  -sigh-  Part of me tells me that doing all of the above (especially working) counts toward being a good daughter, at least indirectly.  Another part of me says, "That's crap... that's crap.  You are just being selfish!"
8. friend?  3 --- Make effort to keep in touch with high school friends, I think.  Here?  I've been isolating myself a lot.  Not necessarily because I want to, but socializing has been lowered to the bottom of my priorities.  I'm trying to pull it up, though.

Did I really think I could pull off a 5 or 4 on all of these at the same time??  At least numbers 1-6?  

Well, no.  Working every crack of dawn and having two less hours every day was not part of the picture when I made all the other commitments last spring.  That's my main excuse for this... disaster this semester(/year!!!).  

Dropping things seems to be a solution.  But I can't quit any of the above (besides the one that I've already quit) until next year.  Yes, technically I can, but... you know, I can't.  Nor do I want to, but that is  irrelevant because we obviously can't do everything we want to do.  

What do I do?  怎么办？어떡하지?

God?

Is this just a big lesson of "do not overcommit yourself"?  

I can be doing awesome things in some of the roles above.  I hate that I'm using so little of my potential in every role because there are just... too many.

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Give us this day our daily bread...

What would it be like to say that line of prayer earnestly, desperately, and literally, like many people had to do when Jesus taught them the prayer?  To not know where you will get your material necessities for the day, but to rely solely on God to provide you with them?  All of my worries above will be so superficial then...  I'm so spoiled.  Maybe that is all that He is trying to teach me?